16.5

Not posted for a while.  Easter was …chocolatey…so weight loss went out of the window.

 

Back on track now.  Scales said 16.5 stone today.  Got to be happy with that.  As long as thea numbers continue to go down, I’ll be a happyish  fat bunny.

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Diet pills for sex???

So now the Dr has banned me from running, I have to find another way to lose weight.

I can’t keep forcing my boyfriend to f*** me.  I do feel like I’m forcing him.  Poor bloke.  I’m almost 2 stone heavier now than I was when I met him.  Back then we were all about sex.  He made it clear he didn’t want a relationship with me.  I was only for sex.

2 years on and he is in love with me – and I’m so fat that he finds it hard to want me.    He’s not revolted by me.  He never says anything about my weight.  Is never cruel.  Never teases me about it.  But there IS a tell tale sign that he doesn’t find me attractive like he used to!

We still have sex.  OMG we had amazing sex this morning.  But I literally had to beg for it.  He works nights.  We never get to spend nights together.  Makes life very difficult with work.  I actually took the day off today so that we could spend it in bed.  It was so worth it.  (I only get paid for days where I work – no sick days – not conning anyone into paying me).  I find myself on my own every night watching porn and pleasing myself.  I remember the days when that was the other way round.

I want him to look at me and think – phwar, that’s my woman.

So…what can I do about it?  I’ve a friend on Facebook talking about juice plus, another on weight watchers, several on slimming world.  I just don’t know where to start.  Advice please.

 

Fibromyalgia Hell

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia at around Christmas time.  I was put on 30mg of Amitriptyline which helped loads to start with, but caused me to put on a stone and a half in 3 months and has recently stopped working…or at least I thought it had.

I stopped taking the Amitriptyline last week.  I’ve lost 7lbs since.  Not bad.  But…I’m not sleeping properly again and the pain is unreal.

I didn’t go to work today.  I tried…to get out of bed…and failed.  The pain in my limbs is unbearable.  It’s like having full blown flu without the head cold bit.  Every inch of my body hurts.  My family and my lodger don’t believe there is anything wrong with me.  They think it’s all in my head.  But even if it was, I still hurts.  I’m not exaggerating.  It hurts.  All the time.  Everywhere.

Didn’t get out for a run or even a walk last night.  I know that exercise helps the pain in the short term.  But recovery times seem endless.

This is turning into a right moan!

Well – yes – moan, moan, moan, grumble, grumble.  My body hurts so much it makes me cry.

I’m going to try to walk for a while tonight – but it will be a short one.  I’ll talk to the Dr tomorrow.